And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
