suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
