It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize