he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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