im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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