oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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