man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
barbara walters just said penis...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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