How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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