You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
