i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize