the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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