Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
