We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
BRING THE BAGELS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dicks are not precious.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
