I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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