Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
