Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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