He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
