I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
