There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
