I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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