She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
