just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
did i walk over a car last night?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
