Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
