So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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