I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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