No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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