i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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