i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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