that's an acceptable place to lick
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am one with the molecules
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
