I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
