who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
only you would photoshop your dick
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize