After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
