What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
