where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
