don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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