Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
