just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
