When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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