I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
