Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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