im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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