We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
