I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
