Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize