i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
