This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
