Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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