she woke up with a sticky ear
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.