I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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