1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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