how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize