Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize