would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.