I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone