We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
