Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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