So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
